exhaustion.

 

I'm absolutely exhausted from today.

I worked 5 hours as a cashier for my retail job and oh boy was it awful and exhausting. Since it was Labor Day weekend, we had a big sale on seasonal decor and the line felt endless considering that I have to manage the self-checkouts + check customers out on the cash register.

    It was a full 5 hours of nonstop noise, babies crying, customers asking me for help despite me being in the middle of transactions, having to ask for backup cashers almost every hour, and Karens complaining about the signs and prices.

  In all honesty, I fucking hate this job and I never want to work as a cashier EVER again once I start applying to other part-time jobs. I have to ask every customer if they are in our rewards program and ask them if they want to apply for our credit card and it gets REALLY fucking old.

 It's also hell for my auditory sensory issues and I often get overwhelmed and overstimulated, which can ruin my mood for the entire night after hearing trigger noises and multiple things going on at once for hours at a time. 

I was so overstimulated today that I was filled with extreme rage and was bordering on an absolute meltdown for almost 4 hours after I got back from my shift.

I honestly don't know why I've still stayed this long at my job. I told myself I would quit last December when we started to be forced to ask every customer to sign up for our credit card, but I just never got around to it or looked for another job and it's now been almost a year. 

I feel like it's time to expand my horizons and pick a retail store that does NOT have constant crying babies. In fact, why the everloving FUCK do mothers bring their wild unbehaved children and entire family tree to stores and clog up the line?? Not only is it incredibly noisy, but it is incredibly annoying and inconsiderate and utterly unnecessary. Is it THAT fucking hard for them to parent their child and tell them to shut the fuck up and stop crying or they'll go the fuck home?? I hate humanity, it's fucking ridiculous. 

Anyways, I need to get serious about looking for another part-time job even though I only have a few more months in my degree. I'm no longer going to use finishing my AA degree as an excuse to put off applying for other opportunities that are a lot less miserable. Plus, it's going to take months to find a full-time job in my field of work anyways, so there's no point staying at a job I absolutely hate at this point. 

So starting tomorrow, it's time I get serious about job-hunting and applying a ton to part-time job opportunities almost every day. If I just stop siting there and get my ass in gear, a better and less mentally draining opportunity will come around eventually. I just need to remember to actually do it (SCREW YOU ADHD).

On a different note, I'm really hoping that my mom will be able to sort out my medical insurance coverage situation with my Humira medication. I haven't been able to take my dose I've been needing to take since Thursday because of the pharmacy being unhelpful and frustrating pieces of shit. I hope it will get figured out tomorrow or Tuesday so I can continue on with the injections or else I will likely have to start over...

I hope everyone has a good night!